I think the key to tapping into kindness, is overcoming fear. Kindness requires making the difficult choice to stand in another person’s shoes. This is extremely difficult to do in a genuine manner  – often we SAY we’re looking at it from the other person’s perspective, but we are actually just gathering material to support our own initial argument – our basic drive is for self-preservasion, and so, we feel we don’t have a choice but to focus on our own interests because it’s a matter of life or death. But this just leads to more fear and isolation. The fact is that as human beings, the only thing we really DO have is choice! And if we choose to overcome our self-centered urges, by choosing to connect with the “other” by reaching out, standing in their shoes, truly, listening and hearing their point of view, more often than not, we discover that we are much more alike than different, we are all made Betzelem Elohim (in the image of God). Much better said in this animation on Chesed: http://youtu.be/HeFp2qX-v8U